Quite frankly I’m shitting myself for this year. In like an excited but still shitting myself kind of way. I’m pretty sure it’s normal but its scary to think of everything I have to know before starting placements over Easter.
I think most of us know what its like to be a perfectionist and wanting to do everything amazingly well first time. I also think most of us know that this way of thinking ultimately results in disappointment. So I have an announcement to make to all of you:
I AM GOING TO COCK UP.
Did you hear that? I am going to cock up. I don’t know how or when but it will happen and the sooner I get my head around the idea the better. Don’t get me wrong, I have royally cocked up on multiple occasions (multiple might be an understatement) and fixated on said cock ups until my brain feels like its going to explode. The difference now is that I’m actually looking forward to them.
There is nothing more liberating than releasing yourself from your own expectations (and yes, I know that sounds like one of those bullshit quotes your middle aged relatives share on facebook) but its bloody true. I have decided that this term that I am not going to be perfect, and I don’t want people to think I’m perfect either. I am allowing myself to fail. I mean, I still want to pass the year but maybe my suturing can be a bit wonky or I won’t be able to tip a sheep first time. That’ll do.